as someone who's already 30 and single and still unmarried, i can definitely relate to this. im not even seeing anyone and i honestly dont know what the future holds for me.

You're not failing or failing in life, you're single because you don't want to get hurt or face the same thing ever again.

Enjoy the single life, the only time where you can travel and see the world without any worry of commitment.

I'm now in my early 30's and I do go on dates but rejected most of my dates to go further into couple status because I wasn't ready to commit as there are a lot of things I wanted to do or explore. Also, it is the only time I can be closer to my parents and make memories with them since they are getting older.

I do inform my parents that I wasn't planning on finding a partner or marriage which they slowly understood but friends of mine couldn't accept that decision 😅

Yes there are times I felt lonely but it is only a temporary feeling.

Basically be in relationships when you're ready and don't force yourself into one just because people want you to.

It is better to be single than having an abusive cheating husband which you can't really escape without being shunned and having your children live away from the father, becoming fatherless and you become a single mother. If you choose to stay with an abusive husband, the toxic family cycle repeats itself where the children gain childhood trauma and will likely choose an abusive partner due to Trauma. You can search about this further.

Being single is the new norm. A lot of career women in developed countries like Singapore, Korea and Japan are single. They have no time for having a family and dealing with romantic relationships, especially the horrible one. Marriage no longer signifies you advance in life, or an indicator of success, but simply a matter of life choices. Brunei society is so outdated in this matter, stuck in the 1980s mindset.

i'm old (over 40) single, had many relationship , never make it to marriage stage, the naggings i received for not married LOL, yup i been there and still is there... i'm not bothered actually, if i get married or if i stay single till death comes... yang penting, i live a good life, do the things i like that doesnt bothered others

In developed countries, being single as you grow older is common nowadays. Their main reason is due to financial issues; cost of raising a family, lack of time/opportunity to start a relationship because of work hours etc where your case is more about the trauma of past relationship. I don't know what to say to help except for hoping for you to be in a better relationship in the future. Everyone is different, so harap2 cari kalok kejumpahan someone yang ngam.

i can relate to this, im at the stage where my friend want to introduce me to their friends

If I say “prioritize protecting yourself” it would be cliché and a lie. Life’s too short to be scared. If you get hurt again, so what? You have the rest of your life to find a partner that fits your needs and vice versa. If you don’t make yourself available and go out to the wild wild world, you’ll be spending the rest of your life wondering your “what ifs” and personally, I think that’s worse than getting hurt.

P.S I’m only saying these because you are self aware and curious. It’s not applicable to everyone. I wish you all the best OP. I wish we have a discussion group IRL here in Brunei.

So..are we gonna starting a group, club or something for all the singles in Brunei's reddit or what? Pls count me in😄

You're not alone my dear. A lot of us are here too. Family's functions and Raya is worse esp. those cousins way younger than you are getting married or already settled down with their own children. Sangal nyamu menghadap org tua balik2 betanya why are you not married yet and then you became the brunt of the jokes for the rest of the day. Not fun at all!

In the 30s club, the only thing that I'm worried about is money.

Sorry about the toxic relationship. I can imagine how bad it is when u have decided to seal your heart. I imagined the mental abuse you were going through. Hoping there weren't any physical ones.

It's not wrong to be single or if you have decided you want to break that and start a new chapter in your life. Also you mentioned you being high maintenance. Sometimes the opposite sex is afraid to make the first move because of the way you look. 😎 Hopefully I have boosted your self esteem. Good luck