1. Learn to love yourself
2. Healing - traveling, do grounding kah. Pls google further what is grounding since i mls to explain further.

Have u been reflecting ur behaviour acting like that? Unfortunately, u might hurt your partner seriously. Thats not good. And please dont depend your happiness on ur future partner. U need to fix urself first.

May I ask, are you honestly happy with yourself? You seem to be in a lot of relationships, have you ever just, been single and be happy on your own? It sounds like you are always out there seeking and seeking for some sort of companionship..

hmm quite a lot of relationships to be in. Do you feel like its a necessity to have a partner/spouse in order to live your life? There is more to life out there than getting married and finding a spouse. Find out what interests you and go do it. You can have friends. You can be yourself and not try to form yourself into someone else's expectations. Life is short. Live it for yourself. Maybe along the way, someone meant for you will drop in. If not, who cares?

I found your statements conflicting. ‘I am content and comfortable how I am living right now’ vs ‘I am depressed, often feel burn out and emotionally tired’. I don’t doubt that you are comfortable because staying in the same place that feels familiar is far more comfortable than facing something new or the unknown. However, clearly it seems you are unhappy and lonely so something needs to change. The mental barrier you faced is likely due to core self-belief that needs to be untangled before you can move forward. Growth and change is never easy and often feels uncomfortable but through grit and perseverance the reward is worth while in the long run. No one is saying you should change overnight, it’s small steps. If I was a friend- I would recommend finding a different therapist and think about the possibility of medication if you are diagnosed with something like ADHD. Sometimes brain chemistry is hard to overcome without some help with both pharmacological therapy and psychotherapy. At the end of the day anyone here can give all the advice in the world but you determine whether you take those positive action towards changing your life for the better. The LDR guy seems decent, you may have just been projecting with not coping with how he was trying to give motivation for you to change because well you seem unopen to change (hence the statement: I feel comfortable) because this change is a long process and requires a lot of responsibility on your end. Re: relationships-people get along because both sides have something to offer to the table, both are supporting each other. We shouldn’t be highly reliant on our better half for our happiness. We share our joy with them, and them with us. So at the end currently you shouldn’t be with anyone because there’s much work to be done internally with yourself. Again, based on your language use it feels definitive ‘I can’t be with anyone’- again perhaps some untangling of core belief here is needed. It’s not you can’t be with anyone, you can’t be with anyone right now. Hopefully you notice the difference here. All the best & hope things work out for you.

What a sad life

Sometimes you win, sometimes you lose but one thing in life is you can’t quit.

>I have no friends, lost contact with primary and secondary friends, and since I started being independent I have not contacted any of my former friends

If you don't mind me asking how long has it been since you last contacted your close friends? Sometimes it won't hurt to reach out and see if they're up for a catch up. Since a lot has been going on in your life, I'm sure they just don't wanna impose. It is not impossible to find new friends pulang but it is hard. I am not at your age, and the only new friends I'm making are from switching jobs and networking from my previous job.

>I'm content and comfortable how I am living right now. I cannot cope with how he pushes me hard to improve myself.

It's good that you feel content and comfortable with your life, however it seems to me like you are being too comfortable? This is just my personal opinion based on my personal experience yeah. When we are in a depressive state for so long, sometimes it can feel like it's comfortable, but that doesn't mean that it's a good thing. Doing something out of your routine might feel like it's overwhelming, but that thin line between your willingness to do it or not, usually will make a lot of difference. But hey, do it at your own pace. I know that getting yourself to actually get out of bed is already a lot. Everything starts with you and your willingness.

Just appreciate yourself, value your life, don't surrender

I wish you well in future, have u heard of the phrase, you gotta learn to love yourself before you can love others. We shouldn't count on others to make us happy, I pray you will adjust to being on your own before entering into another relationship.

All the best

Do you work? Do you have other hobbies outside of gaming? I think you just need to get out of the house and talk to real people. Also, why is your ex delaying your divorce leaving you hanging like this? Surely there is something you can do on your own to expedite the process. Can't just depend on him.