Ask your parents if they want you to get married while they still alive then please make it easy for you. If not and still asking money, nice way to say it tunggu saja tapi ahir. Rude way, tunggu kepisan baru kawin

Pembuka mulut is normally $50/$100 dan sebentuk cincin. $1.5k cash is way too much unless your family is orang bukit or something. To add some families require sirih junjung as well for pembuka mulut. This is something that you get to keep regardless of whether you accept the proposal or cancel the wedding. It is given before the proposal as a sign of goodwill from the groom-to-be side.

Tanda tunang is normally $50-$200 dan sebentuk cincin. In my family, if the couple does not have an engagement ceremony, then the tanda tunang is given before the akad nikah.

1.5k? that amount sounds more like “belanja hangus” that is budget for mengadakan acara2 dan keperluan sepanjang the celebration.

Aish..bukan besha2 parents kita atu. Siapakn kita ani sebenarnya?

"Pembuka mulut" is like a gift from the groom family to the bride family so they can initiate the discussion. Like a tax for the groom family to enter the bride's house and literally for opening their mouth (to talk/discuss)... I heard before, where the groom's family was totally ignored by the bride's family until the "pembuka mulut" was presented. It usually happen during merisik or bejarum-jarum, or nowadays people combine it with engagement ceremony: so "pembuka mulut" (BND100 with ring) with "tanda tunang" (BND100 with engagement ring).

Before it was BND50, but recently observe 100 is more frequent with a ring (usually a cheap gold ring), both of which will be for the bride's family, it'll never go to the bride. Tanda tunang, however, the money and ring goes to the bride. But seems like you're not having an engagement, so these adat actually should be skipped.

If agreed on Nikah and Sanding only, the money part is usually

1. Mas kahwin (typically BND300)
2. Belanja hangus (typically BND1k to 5k, depends on the bride's family demand)

Mas kahwin is wajib for Nikah, dont need further explaination. Belanja hangus is cultural, it's meant to be to support the bride's family to arrange for a small banquet for their family side. Technically, the money goes to the bride's family that sponsors the banquet, however, typically the case nowadays all the events are paid by the groom and bride anyway so the belanja hangus goes back to the bride and groom.

My advice perhaps talk with your parents to clarify what they meant by the "pembuka mulut" coz they may be confused with "belanja hangus", coz you can't ask for "pembuka mulut" during Nikah since you guys skipped the engagement bit. And they need to clarify their intent, who and what the money is for.

Urg lain yg kan kawin....aku yg pressure ni mmbaca2 HAHAHAHAHAHAHA

as far as i know its commonly given in 'engagement ceremony' , as a gift before groom sides express their interest for the bride's hands in marriage, among my relatives was around that range Bnd50-100 only.

Bnd1.5k is way too much imo, maybe try to explain how unorthodox it is to exploit their future son in law (with the good intention to marry their daughter) for money? how it will affect your image/their image/overall budgets? Ask why must it be that amount and i suppose can try trade off with something else of the same/greater value. All the best.

A lot of culture has this. Its an amount that you pay to continue with the ceremony. There should be a fix amount or different method rather than paying a toll. I believe, the old days was balas membalas pantun or something like that. Nowadays it all about the money. I also believe that this is like pimping like one of the commenters said. The life of your kids do not have to have a price. The intention is the most important. As long as each of them are able to be independent and manage to take care of each other, then thats the most important thing.

Have a read at

this

All you need to do is to discuss with your parents, this is need to know basis that involves money.

pembuka mulut as far as i remember is, given with a cincin to the female side. but its for during nikah and amount usually not more than 500. nda tau lah maybe youre their only precious girl so they want more, or if youre someone with title and need to drop the tilte to marry him, oe if he is someone with title so they want to get more out of it, idk